The logical part of me insists that superstitions are stupid.
The logical part of me insists there’s no such thing as “jinxing” something.
Then there’s that other part of me, the one that pushes all logic aside.
Take this scenario for instance: I get some good news. News about something that’s going to happen in the near future. I could get excited about it. I could celebrate it. I could tell people about my achievement.
Or, you know, I could keep it to myself. Because the awesome thing has only been promised. It hasn’t actually happened yet. What if I jinx it? If I get too excited or tell too many people about it then maybe the good thing won’t happen after all. What if some weird twist of fate prevents it? What if I find out the good thing was actually a mistake?
I guess, despite logic, I’m a pretty superstitious person.
That’s why I’ve been sitting on my news for a while. But by now enough time has passed and I’ve gotten enough indication that it’s not just promised, but actually going to happen. So here it is:
I’M GETTING PUBLISHED!
Next month my short story “Hildy Bakes a Cake” is getting published in Pantheon Magazine. Someone read something I wrote and wanted it. They actually wanted it! And I’m giddy about it.
Reading the acceptance letter was one of the most exciting things that’s ever happened to me. When I responded it was hard not to gush. Hard to remain professional. Even writing this seems silly. Like what if someone from Pantheon reads it and thinks I’m the biggest dork in the world? Also, you need to be confident, you know? And acting like this is shocking and amazing and crazy hardly makes me radiate confidence about my writing.
But it’s the first time. And the first time is a big deal. Surely I’m allowed to be a little giddy and absurd?
Last week Pantheon posted the artwork for “Hildy” to their Facebook page. Artwork! Really awesome artwork that was done with one of my stories in mind! I figure that’s enough of a sign. The issue might not be out yet, but certainly if they’re doing artwork they’re not going to suddenly email and say “Oh yeah, remember when we said we’d publish you? Just kidding!” So I think it’s safe to post here about it. No jinxing anything.
And if I’m breaking some sort of writerly rule by saying how much this means to me, so be it. I have plenty of time to worldly and aloof. Right now all that matters is this:
I wrote a story. Someone wants to publish it. People are going to read what I wrote. My hard work has paid off.
I will love Pantheon Magazine forever.